another pet peeve

I hate people who talk/write like they just memorized SAT flash cards.

Here's a sample:

"Hello... Boys are super cool and awesome, and cars, and mokeys. Oh my god, the monkey has such an AUDACITY for sneaking up on the dog like that"

Its especially glaring if the content of the message doesn't really mean anything.
Just because you pile a bunch of fluffy, flowery language to hide the lack of insight in what you say, doesn't mean you're a genius all of a sudden.