i wonder

Will I always be so incredibly lonely? I cannot stand being around "artsy" people because I find them to be pretentious and concerned about their self images. I cannot stand being around engineers and practical people because they seem so heartless, uninspired, and, uncreative. I cannot stand "well adjusted" people because who the hell cares about the world they are so well adjusted to. I think no matter how hard I try, I'm always doomed to fuck up. I wonder, who the hell cares?

I have memories of my life, the lonely ones, being in Cebu, Jersey City, Manhattan, Palo Alto, all the periods of loneliness.

I saw a Munch show at the Cantor last Thursday. It was very good. I think I remember an old art teacher say that Munch practically drove himself crazy during the most productive artistic periods of his life. I was bummed out because some anal guard reprimanded me for "getting my hands" on the plexiglass case of Munch's belongings. A whole bunch of bullshit if you ask me. A few moments later, I heard a faint scratching noise, and I saw him sketching on a little notepad. WTF, guards aren't supposed to be surreptitiously sketching while they are guarding museum corners. I mean what with all the museum goers getting their fingerprints on plexiglass cases and such. Anyway... a whole wad of bullshit that put a damper on my appreciation of Munch's prints. They had about thirty.

I went to the Stanford MFA art show. It was a whole lot of bullshit if you ask me. Or maybe I just cannot understand modernist art "theory". It just looked like badly made objects. Coming from product design, I had some complaints about the poor craftsmanship of some of the art pieces. One artist had exacto knifed "peep holes" into plastic containers. The exacto knifed serrations were really grating,and the sculptures were not functional. Didnt anyone ever teach these "conceptual" artists how to use exacto knifes PROPERLY?

anyway, this whole post is becoming piss and vinegar. I'm entering the real world. i dont know if I'm excited at all.